The Honeybadger

Smash came over last week and asked if she could make me a cocktail. I’m a really good friend, so all I asked in return is that she write a guest post so that you could recreate this wonder for yourself at home.

P.S. You don’t have to serve it in a hipster-friendly mason jar, but it helps.

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Welcome to my first guest post!  I’m honored to be here.

I have been blessed with rather accurate taste buds and a knack for guessing right about which flavors, in what amounts, will be complementary.  The most fun and popular use of this talent takes form inside a cocktail shaker.

Last week I had a rather fabulous girls’ night in with J at her humble abode.  Armed with snacks, nesting materials, and a double feature, we were almost ready for action.  She had recently read a recipe for lemonade on one of her favorite treat-centered blogs, so we decided that would be the inspiration for our cocktails for the night.  I squeezed the daylights out of three lemons, emptied the ice trays into the ice bucket and refilled them, and asked J where to find the remaining ingredients for the lemonade.  Sugar?  No sugar.  This is a Paleo household.  But we have honey!  So, the actual lemonade recipe was hung up for another day.  J mentioned that she had seen somewhere a drink with rosemary, and asked if I wanted to dabble with some of the fresh basil we’d gotten, or perhaps with some rosemary.  Brilliant.

I poured a tiny splash of gin into the mortar, added about 8 healthy shakes worth of rosemary, and ground (I love that they have a mortar and pestle!)*  After a few minutes, I poured in a little more gin so I could swirl it around the mortar and pour all the precious ginny ground rosemary into the shaker.  Next came ice, 4 tbsp of fresh squeezed lemon juice, a healthy pour of gin (a count of 4, probably around 3 shots worth), and two strong squeezes of clover honey (approximately 3tbsp).  Shake vigorously and pour over one massive ice cube, with the slightest little champagne float, and you will have about two deliciously well-balanced, flavorful, and rather strong cocktails!

This drink is not only a treat for the taste buds (and for your date when you are just squiffy enough that you can’t stop kissing him), it’s also aesthetically pleasing in color and has charming flecks of rosemary and the occasional bead of lemon pulp. I’ve named this delicious blend of honey, spice, gin and tart, “The Honeybadger.”  Make it, drink it, love it, share it.

(After completing the first batch of Honeybadgers, grind your next round’s gin-rosemary concoction and let stand in about an ounce of gin while you imbibe your first round.  This will bring that delightful rosemary flavor forward even more, but you don’t have to sit and stare at sad booze you can’t consume for 20 minutes!  It’s just there waiting patiently for you when you’re ready for round two.)

*Don’t have a mortar and pestle?  Yeah, that’s normal.  Neither do I.  At home I use a shot glass and the rounded butt of a kitchen knife to grind spices… just be careful with your hands, hmm?  Don’t have a shot glass?  That’s not normal.  Go get shot glasses, and a mortar and pestle while you’re at it.

-Smash

Cucumber Basil Bruiser

Dirty martinis are my favorite libation because they’re a snack and a drink in one package. (Those who ask for extra olives stave off hangovers, my friends.) But this little guy might be the dark horse in that competition…the chunks of cucumber give it a fun texture and they’re even healthy. So basically this is extremely good for you and you should make it immediately.

Cucumber Basil Bruiser
-Bruise a handful of basil leaves and finely chop half a large cucumber.

-Throw both ingredients into a glass filled with the amount of gin needed for two drinks (or however many you plan to have tonight. Life is stressful sometimes). Stick the glass in the freezer so the greenery can “infuse” the gin.

-Wait a painfully long half hour.

-Remove gin from freezer, pour out a shot’s worth into a glass, and scoop out accompanying greens. (If I  call them “greens” enough times, you’ll  start believing me that this is a health food.)

-Top off with fizz of choice (tonic water, if you live here).

-Imbibe and forget for an hour that you’re still studying for the bar. STILL.

The Zeus Mollifier

The weather in Boston has been certifiable lately. Thunderstorms that indicate Zeus is working through some feelings. Crushing heat waves that trap people with their spouses (and bar materials) in the only tiny air-conditioned room of their apartment. And perfectly beautiful summer days, of course. Today has been a mixture of all three, and in celebration of both this weather schizophrenia and the fact that we’ve studied for two days in a row, (we’ll take what we can get, celebration-wise) M made a pretty much perfect variation of the standard G & T.

Enjoy!

The Zeus Mollifier
A significant amount of gin
A whole lime, squeezed
40% of a giant lemon, squeezed
Splash of tonic water

 

Cocktails: The Long Beach Triumph

Sometimes I think I want to have children soon, and then M comes home from the gym and makes me cocktails. So.

His mastery of the basics is pretty great (if you are into dirty martinis or manhattans, you should hang around this guy), but he also experiments with great success. This one is called “The Long Beach Triumph,” and you’re going to have to go ahead and ask him for an explanation of that moniker. Something about three (fruit) ingredients, and the number 3 making him think of “liberty, equality, fraternity,” and therefore of the Arc de Triomphe…I’m pretty sure if we could harness his crazy brain, we could power a small city.

The Long Beach Triumph

Gin (however much you feel is right, for you, in your particular circumstances)

1 clementine

3 oz. grapefruit juice

1/3 of a lemon, juiced

-Toss the clementine (peeled) into the food processor (or blender), and then pour in the grapefruit juice. Add gin and squeeze lemon over the top. Finish with giant ice cubes. Receive the adoration of all around you.

Monday Morning Randoms

1. Last week I was shopping for valentines in my favorite fancy-pants card store. I didn’t find any non-awkward love-professing cards, but I did find this:

Oh hi, my childhood. Missed you for a while there, but now I remember exactly what it was like.

I wanted to buy it so badly, but…what kind of life would that be for this cute little card, just sitting around my apartment? So I texted it to Hope instead. She seemed to like it.

2. A few days ago, I came home in a crab-tastic mood. When I got out of the shower, M had made me this.

“We can totally talk about it, but I thought you might also want some tequila.”

I am tequila, blood orange and lime juice. Let's talk.

Just encourage your partner’s ambitions to stockpile an impressive bar, is all I’m saying.

3. Sometimes I like to pick up a second language at the gym.

Long live leather indeed. At least, that’s what I think it says.

Seriously though, School Gymnasium, could you please try just like one tiny bit harder when it comes to cardio machine magazine selection? I mean, you don’t have to give us magazines at all. But when you do…and the selections are:

-The New England Gay and Lesbian Review

-The Economist (five issues! Five!)

-The Atlantic

-The New Yorker

…and there is not a female-interest publication in sight, then I just have to question your priorities. More pretty pictures = women spending more time working on their fitness, right? I like Intellectual Magazines as much as the next person, but if you can read The Economist whilst on the elliptical…you’re lying.