1. Last week I was shopping for valentines in my favorite fancy-pants card store. I didn’t find any non-awkward love-professing cards, but I did find this:
Oh hi, my childhood. Missed you for a while there, but now I remember exactly what it was like.
I wanted to buy it so badly, but…what kind of life would that be for this cute little card, just sitting around my apartment? So I texted it to Hope instead. She seemed to like it.
2. A few days ago, I came home in a crab-tastic mood. When I got out of the shower, M had made me this.
“We can totally talk about it, but I thought you might also want some tequila.”
Just encourage your partner’s ambitions to stockpile an impressive bar, is all I’m saying.
3. Sometimes I like to pick up a second language at the gym.
Long live leather indeed. At least, that’s what I think it says.
Seriously though, School Gymnasium, could you please try just like one tiny bit harder when it comes to cardio machine magazine selection? I mean, you don’t have to give us magazines at all. But when you do…and the selections are:
-The New England Gay and Lesbian Review
-The Economist (five issues! Five!)
-The New Yorker
…and there is not a female-interest publication in sight, then I just have to question your priorities. More pretty pictures = women spending more time working on their fitness, right? I like Intellectual Magazines as much as the next person, but if you can read The Economist whilst on the elliptical…you’re lying.