All That Tuition…

Actual quote from my husband regarding what I will be doing in six months:

“Hard brain stuff. In a pencil skirt.”

Little too much of this, I think.


Planning Ahead

Finals are annoying by themselves, but they’re also a crunch time that makes me think about this whole two-professionals thing we’re going to have happening here pretty soon. When we’re both slogging through the 100+ pages of Con Law we didn’t do during the semester, neither of us is jumping at the opportunity to make dinner or wrestle our laundry down the stairs. We end up ordering a lot of take-out, and the Bar Method studio* sees my awkward sit-ups a lot less. None of this is the biggest deal when it’s only for two weeks. But now that it’s our last cycle through this pattern, I’m looking ahead to our lives after graduation and wondering…is this what it’s going to be like all the time?

There really is something to the whole concept of one partner heading off to earn, and one being in charge of making a home liveable. Taking care of the domestic side of life is a full time job in a serious way. During early parts of the semester, I easily take up entire days doing laundry, making meals, cleaning…if I go to the gym and take the time to make myself attractive, there’s no time to be bored. Plus, I can listen to the Pandora Kimbra station all day and drink Pinot Noir while I make dinner. Best life? I believe so.

But obviously I didn’t go to law school to be a domestic diva. I don’t think it’s a pattern I’d want long-term, and it’s not even on the table for the first few years because of all those lovely loans sitting around. I’m excited about starting work in the fall, about doing my last round of “back to school shopping”….only there’s no more school ever and the new clothes will be pencil skirts and heels for striding down the hallways toward the cappuccino machine. I really can’t wait to be fully adult, to be sipping coffee on the drive to my office every morning, to finally be the professional that I’ve been growing into all these years.*

I guess I’m just nervous that the “professional” life that I’ve been looking forward to for so long will come with the disastrous home life that we’re wading through right now. Not as far as our relationship goes–obviously, we’d rather be going on dates than making outlines, but we’re always pretty happy with each other–but in terms of coming home to a  cluster every night. We’re not fastidious people (if you know me, you are doubled over at the truth of this right now) and I can just picture our sad apartment three weeks into our work lives: clothes piled on the sofa, dishes in the sink, me running around frustrated at 7:15am looking for my other shoe while trying to pack a lunch. I’m sure there is a totally competent way to handle this life, since couples who pursue dual demanding careers are not exactly news. I just have to find a way to put in the long hours at this desk job and still work out and eat the way I need to.

Essentially, we just really need a wife. Currently accepting applications.

*I am very seriously obsessed with this place. It’s like dance class on crack, and you feel like Jello afterwards. (The red kind).

**Why do so many of my work fantasies involve caffeine?***

***Do normal people have work fantasies?